Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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