im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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