Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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