I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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