OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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