all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
