I accidentally had phone sex last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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