you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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