ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
