How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
