What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I need help removing her.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
