I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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