how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
