sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
