Who wears a wallet chain?!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
