You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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