My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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