It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
