all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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