i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
