i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
