dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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