i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
