i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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