Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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