i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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