this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
