What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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