just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
