Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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