She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
