You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
