Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
