he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
