We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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