Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
