I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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