dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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