YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
