I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You pole danced in your parka.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
