I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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