Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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