So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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