is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize