Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
