I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
