We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
