Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
