At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
