I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
