my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's great music for shaving your balls
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
