i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
