Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
