all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
