im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
