It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
