yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
