I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
