SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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