just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
