I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
